Dear God,

So Wednesday prayer meeting was good. Or so I thought.

Why do some people willingly choose to inflict harm upon themselves?
Some say they can't help it, but it's a choice is it not?
Why do some people choose the hard way and not the easy way?
It is because the hard way looks easier? Maybe it's littered with hidden traps.
So, once again, why do they not heed the advice of others?
I mean, I'm not saying I'm absolutely right and everyone should obey me, but give me a little credit here. I'm not completely wrong, and I'm sure that the things I say are better than what they do.

I tried the nice way.
Didn't seem to work.
And now I'm trying the not so nice way.
But not only does it seem like it's not working either, but it's also hurting me and making me feel unsettled to do it that way.

They say that they're scared they'll find out I'm dead in a ditch one day?
I'm going to throw that back at them.
I'm terrified that one day I'll find them lying in a pool of their own blood.
In addition to that, I'm scared that part of the reason could be me and my not so nice way.

So do I go back to the nice way?
Because that's not going to work.
And the not so nice way just makes them run, run and run.

It makes me so irritated that they have all this love around them, but they keep clinging to that rock that has sharp edges and is cutting their fingers.
That's what it looks like to me.
To put it in an even more visual context, it also looks like this.
They keep hanging onto that sharp ledge, which is cutting their fingers and hurting them, of that building that the evil little red man pushed them out of, but they don't realise that they little red man was stupid and pushed them out of a window that was two metres from the ground. Therefore, there's a solid, concrete, ground of love about two inches from their feet, but because they don't have that courage to let go and let other people help them down, they keep hanging on and let the little red man step on their fingers.

Why hang on to something that is cutting you to bits?
Why keep 'friends' that don't like you for who you are, and 'constantly send subliminal messages of hate to you'?
Why try to hide yourself from 'questions, judgements, assumptions and problems' when they're not all bad?
Why detach yourself from emotion?

I'm going to take that last question personally. Detaching yourself from emotion, all good and bad ones huh? Yeah okay, go on and detach yourself. I'll now take that as you don't care about me anymore. Thanks.

Instead of trying to get rid of the poison, they go and encourage it. Great stuff you've got there.
Just take my antidote and smash it to the ground along with everything else, such as the love, words and tears.

Yeah I'm bitter. But Father in heaven, I earnestly pray that you'll slap them awake for me.
Because I'm about this close to actually slapping them.
Which would then bring about feelings of unsettling because it's not something I do.

There's more I want to say, but Father I'll hold it in because you're telling me that that is not something I should say. At least not now.

All I see is 'I'. Whatever happened to 'we'?
'I' am not coping with the trials of youth?
Well that's because you aren't letting us help you carry some of it.
'I' picked a poison and drank it.
See? Bad choice.

The antidote is still in my hands.
Correction, the antidote is still in our hands, is it not Father?
Our hands. You, our Father's hands, my hands, our family's hands.
So just take it already!
We've all got a bit of it, and I think mine is running out. The only reason why it hasn't is because You keep refilling it for me, because love keeps refilling it for me.

Love that ain't going nowhere.
I hope they hear that.
You, our Father, ain't going nowhere.
No matter how far, how fast, how long they run, they aren't getting away.
No matter how tall, how strong, how thick their wall is, they can't hide forever.

So Father, I hope they hear what we're saying.
They refuse to believe that they're smart, and for this section, they're right.
Isn't that why You're the teacher? Yet they refuse to learn, and continue saying that they are stupid. Now that, irritates me.

Father, I hope that when You read this letter, You'll give me another love boost.
And patience.
And I pray that You'll either let me know the right way to do it, or You'll kick the little red man in the nuts so that he'll stop messing with us.

with love,
your naive child.